Taking a Break

       I just needed a break.... I have a lot on my mind.  It's all coming to an end, its stressful, its tender and its almost over. I've been studying for all my AP tests, struggling to keep focused each day. I study, i study, i take tests, i study, and sleep. I occassionally get distracted by baseball games, talking to my friends or spending time with a cute boy ;) I just feel like i'm dragging myself out of bed each day to class and home again, but at the same time, it's going way too fast. It cannot be over, it just can't end. I'm trying to delay the end. But it's already May!
    
    Today my emotions are getting the best of me. I want to hug every single person i see at school. Especially the other seniors. I cannot even believe being away from them. It seems that all those hard feelings, those moments of drama and even the once envious feelings we've had towards each other has disappeared. No one is better than anyone else, we are here together and we are graduating, and thats it. Why can't i just freeze time for a while? Why do i have to leave these people who have made the most amazing influence on my life? I understand that i have a lot of exciting events ahead of me, and alot of crucial decisions to make. But right now, i just wish i could stay here, forever. While i have these feelings i also feel kind of mute. I am not spunky and excited. I'm just blah. Nothing. I don't feel like doing homework, i don't feel eating. I just feel like sitting. Here. With my country music playing. Doing nothing but writing. Thinking. crying. Why do i want to cry? I have no reason, life is so good right now. But i want to cry!!! i want to let it all out, let what out? i don't know. Let out my fears, my anxiety, my excitements. And now my mind is blank. I had so much to say, and nothing is there.
    
     Now i can't just leave this computer with this dreary mood, or that would greatly constrast the title and theme of my blog itself. So, i must say live it up. I have 28 days left of High School and only 28 days to do all i can to create some of the greatest memories. I will study for the AP test, with a good attitude! I'll study hard, and then after i study, i'll play! I'll have fun doing whatever i want. Then, in the next two weeks i'll take the AP tests. Once those are done, it doesn't matter! I've done all i can, and now i just need to enjoy my stress free life. At school i'll be happy to see my friends, i won't let the worries of school deprive me from these last special moments. I will go out to lunch and have a blast. I will go to the baseball games, and enjoy the warmth of the sunshine. I will be excited to hear about my friends lives, being involved in what they like. Before i know it it will be summer, bitter sweetness. But right now i will live a little, love a lot... So come what may... And love it.