My Thoughts on Marriage and Family

Heavenly Father has given us our "once upon a time" and he is also giving us a "happily ever after" if we are willing to work for it.

Family is THE more important part of my life. Not a day goes by where i don't think or talk about my family members. The last few years and especially the past few months, I have come to realize that relationships and families are so important and valuable and delicate. They are the foundational unit of gospel happiness. I have come to love my family in a way that I believe Heavenly Father loves us- its incredible and true. I have decided to create a motto for myself which can later be applied to my own marriage and family. This is what i came up with:

What first inspired this idea of a happily ever after is a talk from President Uchtdorf who said "“Happily ever after” is not something found only in fairy tales. You can have it! It is available for you! But you must follow your Heavenly Father’s map." This idea sparked the idea of living my own "happily ever after", can i really live a happily ever after? That's so childish and cliche, but it struck me deeper than just a happy ending, it became my source of hope for the future. When telling my roommate about my motto I accidentally said "loving my happily ever after" instead of "living my happily ever after". After saying that, i was immediately drawn the idea of "loving" my happily ever after. The word loving drew my mind to other words such as family, charity, optimism, and respect. Those are things that i want to incorporate into my life and my future family.

I feel that a lot people including myself have the idea that a Happily Ever After is fictitious and unrealistic; how can we live a Happily Ever After when we are bombarded with trials and mistakes? From personal experiences of doubt, i have come to change this carnal idea. During the last few years and months I have painfully watched my parents and siblings suffer heartache and trial due to divorce. As the oldest I take on a large burden of worry and anxiety about my family situation. Mixed up in that anxiety i find doubt and carelessness about my own decisions in marriage and the idea of a happily ever after. But what was missing in my perspective was the entire purpose of the gospel: the principle of the atonement, hope and change. President Uchtdorf's talk made me start to believe that i can have a different outcome than my parents, i'm not doomed for divorce and that I can find happiness through hard times. Heavenly Father wants the same. He gave us a "once upon a time" and he is willing to give us a "happily ever after" dependent on our faith.

But what about adversity? Don't forget that those in the fairy tales actually needed to overcome their own adversities in order to become princesses and find a worthy prince to rule the kingdom with, it didn't just come easy to them. This brings me to the concept of Law of the Harvest, discussed in my Marriage and Family Class. In a nut shell, the Law of the Harvest is this idea that "you don't get something for nothing in life" (Robert D. Hales) But if we understand that we want to have a happy, fulfilling marriage with active and righteous children then we must be willing to earn the price by creating good habits in our life now, and then finally paying the price and actually doing what is necessary to create this fairy tale that we so desire.

Don't let your family situation determine YOUR destiny. Don't let failures in life determine YOUR ability to make correct choices. Don't let doubt consume YOUR life. Don't let anyone tell you that you can't have a happily ever after because you CAN!

My life motto is one of hope. It gives me an eternal perspective that i can incorporate into my daily life. Quite literally we are princesses of our God, we are princes of our God and with faith, hard work, endurance, and loyalty, we can become Kings and Queens with our own kingdom and live a happily ever after.